What is frustrated pleasure and how does technology affect us?

“What remains of sex after the sexual revolution? How does the use of new technologies and social networks affect people’s intimate lives?” asks the head editor. There is a paradoxical answer to this: “On the one hand, taboos, the end of the United States, the affirmation of the right to sex life, overt prohibitions, and institutional incursions have created a poverty of pleasure and sexuality, both within and outside the community. Mate. On the other hand, people (not just young people) seem to be more interested in cybersex, be it online pornography or virtual dating chats, which in reality are real but rarely lead to cybersex. Really satisfying relationship. These behaviors condition or threaten the couple’s life and sexuality.”

As the experts explain, after examining the aspects that characterize these phenomena, they present “a series of typical cases of unsuccessful sex life, in which a brief strategic therapy has deregulated physical or mental mechanisms that lead to anxiety, inadequacy and even fear of what they stifle joy and prevent it from being fully expressed. In doing so, it has returned not only the protection lost or never found to those who needed it, but also the fullness that happy sexuality can bring to any couple.”

It is interesting that in terms of youth dependence on new technologies and its impact, “Twenty-somethings are no better as, contrary to popular belief in the past, they are almost four times more likely to be victimized than their peers”. admits”. So says Professor Jean M. Twenge of the University of San Diego, quoted by the authors of this essay.

What has changed? Why did people love each other differently 40 years ago? These questions lead the authors to state that the cost of connecting to a screen is often less than that of “romantic engagements.” In fact, they confirm that in the world “the average number of sexual relations between couples aged 25 to 45 is negligible: in a month and a half, and it is depressing, twice a year in a couple of ten”. The paradox is that “the percentage of erotic interactions increases with age.”

Experts point out that people over 55 have more sex than people under 30. The answer lies in the fact that “people over 50 are clumsy or can’t handle it.” new technologies and porn on-line‘ although other experts say it stems from the insecurities of young people who are likely to have grown up in a more sheltered and less socialized environment.

Across the many consultations the authors presented from real patients, there is a common point: if couple sex is reduced, monogamous sex, or increased self-sexuality using technology, is also reduced. One of the clinical cases cited is that of Mario, who had an online avatar with which he surprisingly won couples; In real life, however, he could hardly articulate complete sentences in front of a girl. This other virtual self traps Mario and makes him safe in a digital space while also ruining his ability to interact face-to-face with a person. In counseling, he treated her condition by teaching her to “confront fear in order to transform it into courage.”

It should be noted that one of the authors, Giorgio Nardone, has other publications including the art of strategyheader, 2017; I think that’s why I’m suffering. when too much thinking hurts, Paos, 2012; You Woman’s fault (in love)Farts, 2011.

Anand today, in 5 figures

1- Restrictions on sex in the new century:

Today, the boundaries between reality and virtuality are blurring. The Internet is a factor that can no longer be neglected, present in all areas of our lives and gradually affecting intimate and sexual relationships.

2- Frustrated search for satisfying relationships:

One of the great paradoxes of the welfare society is the seemingly wide availability of social and sexual stimuli and relationship opportunities, but with a rapidly growing dissatisfaction.

3- New elements in the sexual dynamic:

The technical medium enters social, affective, and sexual relationships as another element, with equal or greater importance than others. Cybersex, dating apps, porn, online experiences… However, it’s worth asking if these new dynamics can help initiate and strengthen interpersonal relationships, or do they add to frustration?

4- Sociability replaces sensuality:

Couples seem to tend to prioritize their partner’s emotional needs over sexual ones. Lovers become friends and it can be difficult to reconnect with physical desire.

5- Simple solutions to complex problems:

This book collects empirical research on the psychological ailments that can result from a hopeless pursuit of pleasure and proposes simple therapeutic solutions to successfully achieve sexual well-being.

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